Cindy Kunath-Brock

I was going to keep my mouth shut about this…but I just cannot stand it any longer.

Mr. Smith - read my lips:  BUY TWO TICKETS!

I have a b*tt the size of a small country and I do not fit comfortably into one seat.  First class seats are just about right.  So, what do I do: I buy TWO TICKETS so that I do not impose my size on others or comprise my safety.   I have done this for the better part of 9 years now since most of my flights are 4+ hour direct flights on Delta between Atlanta and Los Angeles.

I am very selective about the seats I choose – i.e., I try to never fly in a row with 3 seats simply because I prefer to have the row to myself.   Granted, on one occasion I ended up in a row with 3 seats.  However, the nice young man at the window was traveling with his daughter who was under the age of 2 and was supposed to keep her in his lap.  I told him that if he had no problem that I had the arm rest up, she was more than welcome to sit in the seat.  He kept insisting that I paid for the seat and it wouldn’t be fair.  I told him it was simply for my comfort and the comfort of the person next to me and it was no problem.   (The passengers around us were shocked that I would do make this offer – which makes no sense to me because it was just the human thing to do!)

There are several other reasons I buy two seats:

• I don’t have to put my carryon bag(s) in the overhead bin.  I can stash them under the seat in front of the seat I’m not using.
• I can use the tray table on the empty seat.  The darn things are so low that I can barely get the tray table flat over my legs – either in coach or first class.
• I can watch two shows at once since Delta (most of the time) has seat back video screens.  (Yeah,  yeah, yeah.  Why am I watching two shows at once?)

I’ve only had a few issues with buying two seats:

• I have to make my reservation with a slight alteration in my name so that it doesn’t get kicked out by the system as a duplicate.  (I have a hyphenated last name so I use one name with a space and one name without a space.)
• On the overbooked flights (and what flight is not overbooked these days?) I have to be sure they don’t just randomly assume my seat is empty when they walk by looking for empty seats.   On Delta, when I see the man/woman in the jacket walking the aisle and they glance at my seat, I immediately whip out my ticket for them to see.  About 50% of the time, I’ve been asked if I would sell my empty seat back.  Nope.  Nada.  Not gonna happen (and I don’t care how good lookin’ or friendly the guy might be who wants it!).
• I usually also have a window/aisle seat combo (duh!).  There is always some business man who wants the aisle seat.  If I happen to be sitting in the window seat (sometimes I do, sometimes I don’t), this guy will spy the empty aisle seat and plop down next to me.   I just look up and say, “you’re sitting in my seat.”  He gives me the “what the heck are you talking about woman” look.  I proceed to tell him I have a medical condition and need two seats.   50% of the time, I have to press the issue to get him to move.  (Oh flight attendant!)
• They don’t give you frequent flyer mile credit under one account when you buy two seats.  So, I have two Delta frequent flyer account numbers.  (Just something else for me to keep track of – oh joy!)

The ONLY time an airline has asked me to move was when I was sitting in an exit row and had a seat belt extender.   The FAA had just changed the policy where a person with an extender cannot sit in the exit row as the seat belt length could cause someone to trip on exit.   I understood that and moved (which is how I ended up sitting next to the nice man and his daughter).

Anyway, Mr. Smith, being the movie director or whatever it is you are, if you cannot afford to buy TWO TICKETS or sit in FIRST CLASS…THEN DON’T FLY!